Lessons Gone Wrong
by Silverceil
Summary: Roy needs to teach Ed to swim. It doesn't work out too well. RoyEd One-Shot.


**Author's Notes: **So this little plot bunny popped into my mind and I decided to write it out. Enjoy :)

**Disclaimer:** Don't own FMA.

**Title:** Lessons Gone Wrong

**By:** Silverceil

**Manga:** Full Metal Alchemist

**Rating:** T

**Summary:** Roy needs to teach Ed to swim. It doesn't work out too well. RoyEd One-Shot.

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><p><strong>Lessons Gone Wrong<strong>

By: Silverceil

"Just let him drown, it'll save us all the trouble," grumbled Roy before dodging the transmuted water log thrown his way. Glancing back down at a furious Ed, he let a grin curl up his lips as he watched the blond tighten his grip on the remaining pool noodles he had under his arms. _'One gone, five left to throw,'_ calculated Roy in his head as he continued to watch his subordinate awkwardly float in the water.

"You BASTARD!" yelled Ed at the amused look in Roy's dark eyes. Lifting his fist up to shake it at the man, he quickly regretted his decision. The sudden move had caused the foam tubes to separate and float apart.

From the side, Roy watched as Ed began to panic. Finally, the blond clapped his hands together and merged the noodles into a large polystyrene hoop that rested snugly around his thin waist. Heaving a sigh of relief, Ed let himself idly float in the pool once more.

"See?" said Roy to the worried lifeguard beside him. "He's fine."

Ed growled in his direction as the little water jets pushed him and his masterpiece away from the poolside, making him slightly turn in circles. The lifeguard looked down at the blond with concern in his eyes. The Colonel had just thrown the poor boy into the deep end without a life vest, yet expected him to somehow float back up and miraculously start swimming. He began to doubt it was a good idea to leave them alone…

Roy rolled his eyes and gave the man a stern glare. _He_ was in charge of teaching Ed to swim and they'd do it _his_ way. The man immediately cowered under his stare and scrambled off and out the large room, leaving the two alchemists to themselves.

Turning his attention back to Ed, he saw the blond follow the lifeguard with his eyes, watching as his last ray of hope walked out on him and out the building. What would he do now?

"Just swim," ordered Roy, a bit of annoyance seeping into his voice. They'd been at it for half an hour now and Ed still refused to let go of his floaters.

Golden eyes glowered at him. "But I don't know how!" yelled Ed in an angry tone.

"Just move your arms and kick your legs!" said Roy, waving his arms in the air and trying to mimic swimming moves.

Ed looked at him with exasperation etched into his features. Could Mustang even _swim_? Honestly, those moves looked more like someone drowning than actual swimming! Grinding his teeth in frustration, he tried to move his legs to reach the side. Water splashed around everywhere, but he made no progress. Giving up again, he rolled his shoulders back as he let the jets push him further away from shore.

Mustang ran a hand through his short raven hair as he looked away from Ed. He hadn't really meant to push the boy in, but it was just reflexes. Not his fault the blond was half-naked and much too close to Roy at the time. Taking in a deep breath, he heaved a long sigh as he turned his head back towards the floating blond in the middle of the pool. Truth be told, Mustang was a horrible swimmer. Heck, he probably couldn't really swim…unless dog paddling counted as a conventional style. There was a "butterfly", so why not the "doggy paddle"? Instructors also taught the "dauphin" or, for the Disney fanatics, "the mermaid", so really, what was wrong with the lame old pooch swimming style? The breaststroke looked more like a frog stroke than anything else…so surely, the "dog paddle" must be good enough for Ed. Or for Mustang, all facts considered.

"BASTAAAARD!"

Mustang looked down and locked his eyes on his subordinate. "What?" he yelled, for Ed was now almost at the other end of the pool. How did he get there anyway?

"I'M STUUUCK!"

Dark eyes widened in a strange mix of confusion and shock. _'He's stuck?'_ He thought, as an awkward pause soon followed. _'How?'_

Walking towards the boy, he tried to see what had happened. The blond hadn't moved for a while now, his head somewhat pulled back in a strange position that revealed the soft tan skin of his neck. Roy unconsciously licked his lips as he approached the boy and finally kneeled down beside him.

Somehow, in a way completely unknown to Roy, Ed had gotten his long braid stuck in the grills of the pool gutter system. Golden strands were caught inside the little holes and refused to budge, no matter how much Ed pulled. Desperately looking up at Roy, the blond had a pleading look in his eyes as he tried to twist his way out of this mess.

"…help?" he mumbled, still trying to somehow untangle his hair. Roy stared at the scene before him, completely dumbfounded.

"Weren't you wearing a swimming cap?" he asked with disbelief in his tone.

"Fell off."

"Well maybe you should have put it back on."

"Just help me!" grumbled Ed impatiently.

oOoOoOo

Outside the indoor pool, Mustang's team waited anxiously for results.

"Think the boss must have drowned by now," said Havoc, reaching into his pocket for a cigarette. Opening his package, he quickly pushed it back into his coat as Hawkeye pointed her gun to his face.

"No smoking," she said as she kept the gun steady between her hands. Havoc gulped and tried to shrink away.

Meanwhile, Breda turned the receiver knob with his fingers, trying to adjust the signal. They'd hid a microphone inside the pool, just in case their Colonel tried to harm a certain state alchemist, not that they didn't trust the man. On the other hand, some of them simply wanted to eavesdrop while pretending to have good intentions...

Voices could suddenly be heard and the group leaned in to listen. Hawkeye, despite being quite opposed to the idea at first, kept her ears alert as she slipped her gun back into its holster.

"Ahh…nghh…slower," whimpered Ed's voice and the group flushed at the sound.

"I-I'm trying," grumbled Roy in response, his tone somewhat strained. "Stop moving."

"But..ahh…that hurts!" cried Ed, almost pleading.

And Hawkeye quickly closed the receptor. The group stared at her with wide eyes before turning their heads towards the door separating them from the poolside.

"Maybe we should leave," whispered Falman, making Havoc jump at the sudden sound. Giving each other one last look, they nodded before tiptoeing their way out of the building.

oOoOoOo

"Honestly, can't you be gentler?" yelled Ed, painfully holding his head between his hands as Roy pulled another gold strand loose.

"Well stop making those sounds!" returned the man, his face slightly flushed as he tried to concentrate on his task.

"What sou-nghh…ahhh," cried Ed, biting back his pain as Roy tugged the last strand free. Suddenly feeling the restraint gone, the blond passed his hand through his long hair and sighed in relief. His neck was sore, but he was glad it was over. Turning his head towards the Colonel, he saw an irritated look on the man's face.

"Get out," said Roy, his tone harsh.

Ed raised an eyebrow at him. "What?"

"I said, get out," he repeated, slipping his hands under Ed's arms and trying to pull him out. "Just forget about swimming." Or maybe it was time they got the boy a real instructor instead of Roy. How did he end up with this task anyway?

Hearing the words, Ed happily pushed himself out the pool, but the joint effort made the two stumble back and fall onto the floor, Roy's back taking most of the impact. Glancing down at his commanding officer, Ed grinned at the pained look on Mustang's face. '_Serves him right,' _he thought. As Roy made an effort to get up again, Ed pinned him back down with a large smirk on his face.

"This is for throwing me into that hell hole", he said before quickly clapping his hands and transmuting his right hand into a large bowl-like structure. Roy raised an eyebrow at the action before he felt Ed shifting and saw him scooping up pool water.

"Wai-" he choked out before his last syllables were gargling up by the waterfall attacking his face. Struggling to get away, he finally felt the assault stop and opened his eyes to see Ed restocking on ammunition. _'Oh god no…'_ he thought before a second wave of chlorinated water splashed onto his face, leaving him coughing.

Ed looked down at the Colonel with a grin. "Had enough?" he asked, his eyes flickering back to the pool water and wondering if the bastard deserved a third one. Straddling his legs around Mustang's waist, he held the man's shoulders down with his left hand.

Roy glared at the blond as he struggled to catch his breath. Not only did his back hurt like hell, but he could feel his clothes soak up with pool water, especially around his waist, where the boy was happily seated. Scowling at his pathetic state, he tried to keep his eyes away from the blond's toned body with great difficulty.

"Get off," grumbled Roy dangerously. He couldn't take this any longer and the Fullmetal had better leave before he got angry. Heck, he was already pissed.

Ed smirked at that and shook his head. "Never," he said slowly, taking his time to savour every moment of this rare victory he currently revelled in. Little did he notice the look in Roy's eyes that had suddenly turned dark at his words.

Stretching his arm up, Mustang rest his hand around Ed's thin waist and began to tickle him. Golden eyes widened as Ed jolted from his "seat" and rolled off the man, clutching his side as he broke out into laughter. Feeling the weight shift off his stomach, Roy leaned in and switched their positions, his hand still rubbing soft circles on Ed's side and making the blond buckle at the touch.

"S-Sto-ahaha…b-bastaard," cried Ed between fits of laughter, desperately trying to escape from the Colonel's clutches. A smile soon curled Roy's lips as he watched the blond struggle beneath him, tears almost welling up at the corner of his golden eyes. Finally feeling a little sorry for the boy, Roy stopped his attacks for a second to let him breathe.

Ed relaxed at the pause of movement and took in a deep breath of air. He still felt Roy's hand on his side, warming his cold wet skin, but he didn't mind. It actually felt nice for some reason and Ed blushed at the thought. Slowly glancing back up, he saw the Colonel stare at him with an amused look in his dark eyes, his soft gaze making Ed's cheeks feel hotter.

Roy watched as the blond awkwardly coughed into his fist, his golden eyes flickering away from his face as if avoiding something. Quirking an eyebrow at him, the Colonel let a small smile escape his lips at how cute Ed looked. Wait, did he just call the Fullmetal _cute_?

At the sight of the grin slowly forming on Roy's lips, Ed felt his face turn red in embarrassment. _'Is the bastard laughing at me?'_ he thought as anger bubbled up inside of him. In one rash movement, he reached his hands out and collared the man in his usual manner. However, the sudden move unbalanced the two and taken by surprise, Roy tumbled and fell onto the blond.

Both pair of eyes widened at the impact and time froze over as they stayed lip locked on the floor.

A few moments passed before Ed realized their position and quickly shoved the man off before attempting to stand up. Whipping his head around to face the Colonel, he pointed a finger at the man and yelled "T-This never happened, you got that?" before running off. Roy stared wide-eyed as he watched the blond slip on a puddle and fall back into the pool.

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><p><strong>AN:** Just because I'm too lazy to write a second chapter, here's a little something for the action lovers. Warning: light yaoi.

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><p><span>Alternative Ending:<span>

A few weeks passed before Ed was to submit a report and the latter was late, as per usual. Now locked up inside Roy's office with the Colonel himself, the whole room outside had fallen into an eerie silence as every occupant stared at their superior's door, just waiting for a fight to break out.

Suddenly, a loud thud was heard, followed by the sound of books crashing onto the floor.

In the closed room, Mustang had roughly pushed the blond against the wall and ripped his jacket off, revealing well-defined muscles. Soon, hands travelled up and down toned bodies, gripping and tugging on loose material and buttons as they lost themselves in a wild fight for dominance. Burning sensations rippled through their skin at every searing touch they shared, driving their minds mad with lust as their thoughts blurred into a complete mess of sheer desire.

A few moments passed before Roy finally regained his senses. As the initial rush subdued, he slowly placed his hands on either side of Ed's head and broke the kiss they shared. Right away, Ed stared up at him with confusion in his eyes as a hint of disappointment flashed by and vanished as fast as it had appeared.

But Roy hadn't missed it and a strange spark of hope surged through him at the sight. Glancing down at the young blond beneath him, his gaze strayed from the beautiful molten gold of Ed's eyes to his soft inviting lips. Without a second thought, he leaned back in and pressed a short gentle kiss against Ed's lips.

Golden eyes widened at the action as Ed stared at the man in surprise. Slowly, a smile began to form on his lips as he reached his hands out and wrapped his arms around Roy's neck, pulling the man back down into a sweet yet passionate kiss.

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><p><strong>AN:** And now it's really the end. Please review and let me know what you think! It keeps me motivated when I write :)


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